‘Smashing Pumpkins’ Seek to Wipe Out Avocado on Toast

“Au revoir avocado!” declares the latest communique from food delivery company, Deliveroo. “Bonjour the season of pumpkin spice.” Perhaps its taken the six weeks of autumn already elapsed for the brand to realise there’s room in one calendar year for a second Silly Season.

The delivery company, in partnership with Covent Garden ‘American Midwest’ cafe Farmstand, are on a mission to introduce a seasonal “alternative to hipster brunch food avocado on toast.” Forgetting for a moment that avocado on toast is not eaten exclusively by hipsters, is this really necessary?

The logic runs that the avocado shortage, reported a year ago, has forced a rethink. Students of hype and food zeitgeists crossing the Atlantic at an Ophelian pace could be forgiven for assuming that it is not unrelated to the American fascination with pumpkin spice and its application to, well, pretty much everything.

And thus, Farmstand’s head chef Harriet Worthington has developed a “delicious special featuring smashed pumpkin with egg and crispy chickpeas on gluten free sourdough toast [bonus point], available from today via Deliveroo.” The announcement also states that as well as being a “delicious and sustainable alternative” to avocado, “pumpkin also has some impressive health benefits including being jam packed with fibre, helping you feel fuller for longer.” Win, win...

...Whinge: “It’s the season of the pumpkin spiced latte, with the #pumpkinspice hashtag already taking over Instagram feeds and so Deliveroo predicts a trend with ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ on toast,” they allege. Honest, yes. But must the industry resort to such unabashed cynicism? Especially when, at the last time of checking, this is not a thing in the UK and even in the U.S., where it is, people do not want to eat it.

Maybe the execs know better. “We think our customers will definitely consider the avocado alternative this pumpkin spiced-season,” said Joe Groves from Deliveroo. “When it comes to Sunday in particular, avocado on toast has always been one of our biggest brunch-time sellers, but the news of avocado shortages worried us as much as the next millennial. We’re proud to have worked on an alternative with Farmstand. Deliveroo customers are always into new food trends so we’re confident they’ll give our ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ a try.”

Smashing Pumpkins — which, to be clear, is smashed pumpkins on toast — is available from tomorrow via Deliveroo between 8am and 10.45am. It costs £3.95.