New Shoreditch Restaurant Promises ‘Zero Tolerance to Straight Backs and Polite Small Talk’

A new restaurant will open in Shoreditch next week called Rascals. It says it is “made for audacious chit chat, steam release and mega indulgence.” Customers are invited to “Come on down and unleash your inner rascal.” Spraying champagne at one’s dining companion is also encouraged by the proprietors. Right.

With its “world’s first!” waterproof (reportedly inflatable) private dining room (for the champagne spraying, presumably), set of wooden stocks for idiots, and comedy game show brunch concept, Rascals, on fun-loving Curtain Road, is bound to add to the cosmic sum of happiness in 2017. Its food offering will encompass bottomless pizza, Big Bouncy Burrata, Eton Tidiness and tableside flambéing, but also some dishes that sound less like a joke: beef and pork meatballs with truffle linguine; a ~vegan~ sprouts and romanesco with saffron and pickled blueberries and mini poached lobster buns. What demographic could it possibly be aimed at? There will be 50% off all food between now and its official opening date of 16 November for those who sign-up via the website.

Pledging a zero tolerance policy for “straight backs and polite small talk,” the restaurant might not be for everyone. But given that it appears to be situated next door to, if not in the same building as, Ballie Ballerson — the recreational adult ball pool venue — chances are they won’t be short of customers looking for fun timez.

Monday — Thursday 10am to 10pm; Friday and Saturday 10am to 2am; Sunday 10am to 6pm.