A Once-Respected London Restaurant Brand Is Really Scraping the Barrel [Updated]

Update 5.02.19: Everything below is cancelled. The retro brunch has been called off.

“Embrace your inner child” is the message behind a new brunch menu at the sister site to a once-iconic Chelsea brasserie. Bluebird Cafe in White City, the second outpost for the King’s Road original, has announced that its “retro brunch” will bring back “all the classics that everyone deep down wishes were still acceptable to eat.”

What that means for paying guests is, in no particular order:

1. Boxes of cereal. Promotional photographs show a fetish for Kellogg’s Frosties, Cocoa Pops, and Nestlé’s Cheerios. These “all-time favourites” will be placed at a dedicated “cereal station.”
2. Crumpets made in-house. Also at a dedicated crumpet “station.” Guests will be given “free rein of toppings.”
3. Alphabetti (alphabet pasta shapes in tomato sauce) on toast, below, appears to be decorated with chorizo and micro herbs ftw.
4. Egg and soldiers — soft-boiled eggs with strips of toast for dipping into the runny yolk.
5. Bacon butties. (Reminder: “all the classics that everyone deep down wishes were still acceptable to eat.”)
6. Banana split with chocolate, nuts and wafers.
7. Ritz crackers with French onion dip.
8. Prawn cocktail with Thousand Island dressing.
9. Chicken Kiev with creamy potato salad and watercress.
10. Beef Sloppy Joes and melted cheddar.
11. Ham, pineapple, eggs and chips.
12. Homemade ‘Vienetta’ — a layered chocolate ice cream.

The menu, the work of ex-Gordon Ramsay group chef Simon Gregory, is said to be one of “pure delight and indulgence,” which aims to “bring back lots of nostalgic memories whilst old school tunes play in the background.”

Bluebird Cafe [Official Photo]

Drinks-wise, the announcement adds: “No brunch would be complete without bubbles and no retro brunch without chocolate milk. Lucky Londoners can choose from a range of retro drinks including chocolate milk and milkshakes, or unlimited bubbles to get the weekend off to the right start.”

Although the original restaurant — which is operated by the D&D group — remains busy and successful, the Bluebird’s expansion to New York City late last year has so far received two blisteringly bad reviews. One from Eater New York critic Ryan Sutton and another from Pete Wells at the New York Times. White City — the site of a comparatively nascent restaurant development — is still finding its feet. Presumably this retro effort is designed to lure a new crowd.

The menu launches on Saturday 2 February. It will run every Saturday thereafter.

In order to better understand where this initiative ranks on the cynicism scale, Eater has contacted a representative for the restaurant requesting a price list.

Correction: An earlier version of this article stated that the crumpets would be bought-in. They will in fact be made at the Bluebird.

It also stated that milkshakes could be spiked with alcohol. That is no longer in the plans.