Boris Johnson Declares His Brexit Deal ‘Oven-Ready’

Welcome to a new daily blog about Britain’s next General Election, in which Eater London will find even the most tangential means of writing about the intersection of politics and food.

“We’ve got to go for an election
We’ve got a great deal ready to go

Oven-ready
Slam it in the microwave

And it’s done.
We can come out.”

The message last night from Britain’s Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, in the back of a chauffeur driven car (sans seatbelt) after a skirmish with reality at a hospital in Cambridgeshire. The spiel attempted to articulate his justification for calling the snap 2019 General Election, which will take place on 12 December. Whether by accident or design, it is being referred to by some as the Conservative Party campaign launch. Edgy.

“Oven-ready” is a catchphrase the British public should be ready to hear on repeat. Recent favourite “Surrender bill” ad nauseam is dead; “October 31st”, ditched. Repetition and sticking to the message, no matter how bizarre: alive and well.

After all, when emphasising this new message in the back of his carriage, a tired-looking Johnson was already repeating himself for at least the second time that day. Earlier in the Cambridgeshire hospital, he’d debuted it for the onlooking broadcast media: “We’ve got an oven-ready deal,” he announced. “Put it in the microwave!”

Boris Johnson/Twitter

A curiosity, though: Domestic cooks might not consider the microwave the most obvious receptacle for something that is oven-ready. An oven, itself, perhaps?

Check back soon for more musings and answers to the big questions from the campaign trail.