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Welcome back to Insta Stories, a column examining the London restaurant scene through the often-problematic medium of Instagram. This week’s filter is a game-changer.
News of the week
Look at it one way, and Beaujolais (aka BoJo) Nouveau day is a flashback to when things weren’t so great in the London hospitality industry — when restaurants, food, and wine lists were mostly French and the spiciest thing on offer was likely the sommelier’s contempt for how you pronounced ‘sauvignon blanc’. These days, of course, things are different, which actually makes Beaujolais Nouveau day the good kind of throwback — one that reminds us how wonderful French wine and gastronomy are when consumed in moderation, alongside all the other wonderful cooking and drinking London now has to offer. All in all, easily a good enough reason to raise a glass of Fleurie (or seven).
New opening of the week
[Extremely 2 Chainz voice]: 26 Grains!
Flawed diagram of the week
Hard to disagree with any of the labels — mais, quoi about la tete?
Bright Idea of the Week
Suggested slogan: drink your fil(ament).
Knees-up of the week
The recipe for the average book launch is simple: hire out a vaguely appropriate venue, serve book-adjacent food and drink, send everyone contentedly packing by approximately 8.45. Then again, Black Axe Mangal is no average restaurant, so why shouldn’t its book launch take place in a working men’s club, or feature a cross-dressing pro-LGBTQ Donald Trump, lamb offal pizza, and an entirely blasphemous London food scene homage to The Last Supper? Well, exactly.
Philosophical questions of the week
Genuinely difficult to say which of these is harder to answer.
Clean-up job of the week
Talk about a heavy sack
Venue of the week
Can’t wait for them to say ‘pie do’ in next year’s ceremony.
Divisive promotion of the week
For: free ice cream; cute pink truck.
Against: the phrase “an agent of change sent by the post milk generation movement”.
Guys: chill.
Winter warmers of the week
Christmas jumpers still unacceptably early; all other knitwear appropriate and encouraged.
Christmas tie-ins of the week
The Guardian may have just completed an encyclopaedic review of the best high street offerings, but London food Instagram is about more than affordable, sufficiently edible sustenance. It wants excess, richness, the genuinely and deliciously Extra. Warning: this is only going to get worse as the fateful day approaches.
Dish of the week
Nothing to do with Christmas but, still, Good Lord.
Shot of the week
Normal brain: People don’t eat offal because it’s gross
Expanding brain: People always used to eat offal; they only don’t eat it these days because modern supply chains have created a profound disconnect between the meat available in supermarkets and the whole animal that has supplied it
Galaxy brain: People don’t eat offal because they have a kindred feeling with a brain, or a heart, whereas it is harder to identify with a steak
Deep-fried calf’s brain: