David Cameron Appointed by Byron Burger to ‘Steer Brand Through Brexit’

Update: 11:59, 01.04.19 — April Fool

The former British prime minster David Cameron has made a surprise return to industry this morning, having been named special consultant at struggling burger chain Byron. The former Conservative party leader responsible for calling the referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union, has been appointed by the company to “steer the brand through Brexit.”

It is thought that Cameron’s leadership and crisis management skills will aid the brand through its next phase of recovery; last year it closed a number of underperforming sites and consolidated its portfolio through a so-called company voluntary agreement. Byron also sought to bring back custom through a “flexitarian” burger, which was a burger patty with added mushroom. It was aimed at those who were cutting meat out of their diet.

Although details surrounding Cameron’s role are scarce, it is understood he will take a “food-forward” role as it looks to navigate further challenging months. “He won’t be taking the lead on a brand-defining consultation and then watching from the sidelines,” a spokesperson said. “We want this guy in the kitchen, eating and leading.” A recent £10 million cash injection is thought to have facilitated the hire of such proven talent.

One of the things Cameron plans to introduce as part of the turnaround is a pork and apple patty, which he says does “very well at the barbecue at home in the Cotswolds, so why not?” An early prototype of the burger also includes a small slice of gammon. There are rumours, too, about a Big Mac-style, double decker chicken burger, with kale, French dressing, Spanish onions, and Provolone. It will be called The Bullingdon Club Sandwich.

Cameron’s former deputy George Osborne, the now-editor of the Evening Standard newspaper and famous Byron hypebeast is said to be “intrigued” and “excited” by the news.

Bryon founder and fellow Old Etonian Tom Byng did not immediately return a request for comment.

More soon.