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Welcome back to Insta Stories, a column examining the London restaurant scene through the often-problematic medium of Instagram. This week’s filter is smoooooooosh.
News of the week
When even banks reskin their apps to commemorate Pride, it’s maybe a sign that associated big brand bandwagon-jumping has reached endemic levels. But what could have been a cynically rainbow-washed affair turned out — in London’s restaurant scene, at least — to feel appropriately joyful this year, with the glorious maximalism of Bao’s one-day-only bun — and its 100 percent donation to LGBTQIA+ charity — a fitting icon for the celebration.
Major event of the week
Wimbledon is upon Britain, which is just another way of saying that it’s rampantly commercialised seasonal signifier season, baby. In kitchens away from the court — where squash magnates Robinsons, coffee magnates Lavazza, and reassuringly expensive lager magnates Stella Artois traded product placement rallies — there was only one option when it came to the signature serve.
Welcome return of the week
Ice cream has got properly serious of late. Just as baking has become broishly nerdified, so enthusiasts these days tend to agonise over authentic gelato and how to get the most intensely-flavoured single-origin-milk-organic-ingredient bases with the smoothest texture. So, as summer sets in, here’s to the whippies, the artificial mint-choc-chips, the ripples and sprinkles — ideally served in cones, not cups.
Inglorious pasta of the week
No-one* ever pretended the food at Gloria was excellent — the real reason to visit being the lightning-in-a-bottle eff-Brexit vibe that the Big Mamma restaurant group had managed to curate. But what happens when it’s actively bad? Uh, this.
*Three restaurant critics.
Deathless trend of the week
London’s appetite for the more edible kind of pasta, meanwhile shows no sign of abating. Could the estimable pedigree of pizza-slingers Zia Lucia be enough to outmatch the Insta-inferno that is Pophams in the battle for modern hearts and minds, a.k.a. likes and ‘grams? That was a rhetorical question: it’s a no.
Menu of the week
Kedgeree suppli, good grief.
Week of the week
Home kitchens are never going to be the same again.
Dish of the week
More bad news for Big Mamma group — they are no longer responsible for doing the most outrageous things to burrata in town.
Shot of the week
Doubtless inspired by that scene in Call Me By Your Name.