Avocado Toast Conquers the British Army’s Breakfast Menu

Military-grade breakfast now includes scourge of homebuyers

The British Army is adding avocado on toast to its breakfast options in a bid to catch up with dominant brunch trends add range to a breakfast offering that is decidedly rooted in greasy spoon tradition. The official military line is that it’s because too many soldiers are overweight or obese according to BMI measurements — which are not necessarily useful indicators of body composition and, anyway, does this matter — but one high-ranking official has described the situation as a “national security threat.”

And lo, avocado toast is now a solution to national security crises, as well as millennial financial security and home ownership. Bearing in mind that complaints about a recent advertising campaign to increase diversity in recruitment centred on the adverts being “too politically correct,” expect this flagrant concession to snowflake millennials to go down super-well with Britain’s military super fans! [Business Insider]

And in other news...

• Restaurant magnate Richard Caring is taking a look at the corpse of Jamie Oliver’s fallen empire, buying the former Barbacoa restaurant in St. Paul’s.
• Mr Whippys, 99 Flakes, and seaside cones are in for summer: move over, gelato nerds.
• The new London restaurant from two stars of Heston Blumenthal’s three-Michelin-starred Fat Duck now has a name.
• A pasta master and a barbecue maestro are taking over a Mayfair restaurant for an indefinite residency.
• Supermarket giant Sainsbury’s is taking over a pub in Holborn to serve low-alcohol alcohol in the name of wellness publicity stunts. [Hot Dinners]
• The U.K. is still doing some trade in mystery meat. [Mirror]
• Good tweet: