Multivitamin Company Seeks Beige Food Guinea Pigs in Need of £5,000

Eat a multivitamin you unhealthy bastards, says multivitamin company

A multivitamin company has gone peak wellness capitalism by seeking product testers with a £5,000 offer, on the proviso that they already eat what the company calls “a poor diet.” Money and shame for all. Feel says that a diet of “white bread, chicken, eggs, pasta and rice” is the optimal sub-optimal diet it seeks, because after all, “there are all sorts of weird and wonderful jobs out there, but could you ever imagine getting paid just to eat?”

The real doozy comes in the kicker, not from a latent acknowledgment that eating a ‘poor’ diet places moral judgment on the individual and not systemic problems that are often inescapable; not from a sudden about turn away from the lazy demonisation of carbohydrates; but from this astonishing disclaimer:

“We do not endorse or want to encourage replacing a healthy diet with vitamin supplements, which is why only people who already eat a poor diet will be considered for the role.” No vegetables under capitalism! [Metro]

And in other news...

• Here are London’s essential restaurants, updated for summer 2019.
• One of America’s best new restaurants is coming to London for a restaurant residency at Michelin-starred Lyle’s, in Shoreditch.
• A new report into the U.K. food system proposes a ‘beetroot bond’ to subsidise the public when buying locally produced produce. [Independent]
• Ways to make plane food taste better: add MSG. [The Takeout]
• Nestle is introducing a chocolate made without sugar and designed to emphasise cacao — but it still thinks that water is not a human right! [CNBC]
• Good tweet: