Love Island Fans Can Now Send Actual Pies to Those They Pied Off

Love Island 2019 was never going to pass by without a food-related publicity stunt, especially given that the ITV2 show is now sponsored by would-be restaurant delivery juggernaut Uber Eats. Now, as cast members Amber, Jordan, and Amy suffer from variously grievous levels of rejection following Casa Amor’s drama, one of Love Island’s most insidious catchphrases is being taken to its natural conclusion.

The offending element of Love Island discourse that has wormed its way into public consciousness is the concept of being ‘pied off,’ a slang term for romantic rejection inspired by the classic slapstick humiliation trope of receiving a pie to the face. In a stroke of something, Uber Eats is now offering free ‘apology pies,’ because nothing says “I’m sorry for gaslighting you on national television in an environment that is potentially seriously damaging to your national health and yet seemingly unchecked by producers’ like a free pie.

The pies, then:

• Chicken ‘Melt’ Pie
• Steak ‘Sort’ Pie
• Swede-Heart Pie:
• It is what it is Apple Pie

A brief explainer: ‘melt’ = idiot, exclusively male; ‘sort’ = someone you fancy; ‘swede-heart’ = terrible pun; ‘It is what it is’ = this year’s catchphrase of choice, used to reflect on the fatalistic inevitability of everything from romantic travails to boxer Tommy Fury’s inability to make a cup of tea.

The pies are available on 5 July only in the lucky neighbourhoods of Islington, Clerkenwell, Bethnal Green, Stoke Newington, Bromley by Bow, Homerton, Limehouse and City of London. Not inside the catchment area? It is what it is.