Starbucks Introduces Three Iced Pumpkin Spice Drinks While Autumn Slowly Dies

The iced pumpkin spice latte is a harbinger of death

Starbucks U.K. has announced that the pumpkin spice latte will return on 5 September, as the only seasonal drink to inspire an entire pop culture discourse comes around with all the inevitability of autumn. This year, three iced pumpkin drinks will join the fun: an iced pumpkin spice latte; a pumpkin spice frappuccino; and — holds breath — an iced pumpkin spice cold foam macchiato.

The drink is a sure sign of how seasons bow to capitalism in the USA, with its release date impinging ever further on summer; it’s also now ubiquitous to the point that hating on it is, frankly, a giant waste of time. It’s no longer a harbinger of the basic; or of shitty sexist assumptions about women based on the idea of being basic; or of concerns around the ability of money to corrupt everything into infinitely reproducible merchandise. No, with its autumnal iconography, cosy, orange-hued spices, and warming glow, the pumpkin spice latte is a hot seasonal drink. In turn, the iced pumpkin spice latte is the harbinger of seasons’ death and environmental ruin. Happy drinking!

And in other news...

• American fast food chain Chick-fil-A is best known for two things: its fried chicken sandwich, and its homophobic politics. Both could be coming to London.
• Taylor St Baristas is shutting down its cafes, and the transition is causing staff to resign over misleadingly branded coffee.
• The Fleabag cast went for dinner and nobody got punched in the face.
• Another restaurant wants to introduce West African culinary traditions to the “fine dining” sphere, with a Masterchef: The Professionals semifinalist in the kitchen.
• Sir Terence Conran will return to London restaurant life with a new restaurant at his Boundary Hotel, in Shoreditch. It’s called Wilder, and promises “elegant dishes purely from British ingredients – caught, hunted, farmed or found from these isles.” [Hot Dinners]
• Good tweet: