Faded pizza chain trolls faded football club for likes
Yesterday was transfer deadline day. For those for whom that is meaningless: football clubs in England “scrambled” to sign new players, before the transfer “window” “slammed shut.” U.K. fans saw players defect to rival clubs, with Chelsea fans leaving 1 (one) star reviews on former defender David Luiz’s restaurant after he moved to Arsenal. For those for whom that is strange: that is not even remotely strange.
What might be strange? A faded pizza chain trolling a recently weakened, but globally huge football club after failing to convince a world-famous player to join. Pizza Hut responded to Manchester United’s transfer activity with a bruising tweet, asking if Ed Woodward — its executive vice-chairman who has been widely derided for perceived impotence in the transfer market — wanted to cancel his table booked under “big name signing.” Manchester United have signed quality players in this window — including the window’s most expensive, £80 million for Leicester’s Harry Maguire — but not world-famous names with major brand clout. It has to be said, really, that no-one in the U.K. has signed a player with that kind of profile. Still, Pizza Hut went in:
Hi @ManUtd does Ed still want this table booked under 'big name signing' or shall we cancel that one as well?— Pizza Hut Restaurants (@pizzahutuk) August 8, 2019
In football, as in restaurants, there are tiers; rankings; leagues. London’s essential restaurants, the Premier League. God-tier dishes and god-tier footballers. Manchester United currently competes in the Europa League, as well as the U.K. Premier League. For the uninitiated: the Europa League is the second tier — good tier — of European competitive football, in which clubs from across Europe who failed to reach the Champions League — god tier — compete. Despite its position being good tier on the surface, various circumstances around the Europa League — reduced money, a difficult schedule, a ridiculously long fixture list — and football clubs’ fierce rivalries over prestige contribute to it really feeling mid, or even low tier, all of which is encapsulated by its matches being played on Thursday nights. Applying the prefix “Thursday night” to a tier, restaurant, football club, or any other entity would, by all accounts, be a grave insult.
In sum: Manchester United is a Europa League club, because it plays in the Europa League. Pizza Hut is a Thursday night pizza chain, because its pizza is actually quite bad. Twitter, bloody hell.
And in other news...
- Middleman extraordinaire Deliveroo now claims it can “rescue” struggling restaurants. The initiative is, in reality, a huge data acquisition opportunity.
- Launching a hyped Los Angeles egg brand in Notting Hill? Bring the Made in Chelsea crowd in.
- Staying in Notting Hill, a Tel Aviv-inspired restaurant will open in September.
- Returning to football, Bedale F.C. (grassroots tier) has launched a kit with sausage and mash on the front. It’s sponsored by Heck, the sausage brand best known for endorsing Boris Johnson and then trying to say it didn’t endorse Boris Johnson. [The Northern Echo]
- Good tweet:
i beg of you please to stop rewriting the plums in the icebox poem to be about feral hogs— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) August 6, 2019
learn another poem