So Bringing Cake Into the Office Is Like Passive Smoking Now, Is It?!

Remember 2020, when everything was cake? Everything wasn’t quite cake, because the one thing that wasn’t cake was passive smoking. However, it’s now 2023, and, officially, passive smoking is also cake.

That’s according to professor Susan Jebb, who is the chairwoman of the Food Standards Agency (FSA), but was making her comments in a personal capacity. Speaking to the Times, she said two things:

If nobody brought in cakes into the office, I would not eat cakes in the day, but because people do bring cakes in, I eat them.

Sounds reasonable. Cake is a social occasion in offices. What did she say after that though?

Now, OK, I have made a choice, but people were making a choice to go into a smoky pub.

With smoking, after a very long time we have got to a place where we understand that individuals have to make some effort but that we can make their efforts more successful by having a supportive environment.

The understanding that smoking caused cancer, lung disease, emphysema, and other health conditions did indeed lead to a smoking ban, which has largely prevented unwilling passive smoking. The suggestion a single slice of cake can have a similar effect; that the social pressures of cake are comparable to the need to breathe whether or not cigarette smoke is present; and that people choosing to eat slices of cake are contributing to shortening their life expectancy?

This is a new leap forward in the field of logical progression, and in the gradual conversion of all facets of society into cake.