Who Is Excited for the Warburtons Gluten Free Tiger Bloomer Carbonara Pasta Torte?

Welcome back to Insta Stories, a column examining the London restaurant scene through the often-problematic medium of Instagram. This week’s filter is poignant.

News of the week

Anyone who has seen the recent, and borderline ubiquitous, Strongbow TV ad and noticed a) the disclaimer that it was filmed before COVID-19; and b) the polite reminder that viewers should socialise responsibly will be well aware of the difficulties of resuming “normal” marketing activity during a pandemic. But for the brands willing to take the plunge, there’s a form of opportunity here, too: a less-crowded marketplace, an opportunity to talk to an audience that has spent multiple months under a form of house arrest and which might therefore be a bit more receptive to… well, pretty much anything to that promises to break the tedium. All of which is to say — as more and more brands venture back out there — there may be plenty more Warburtons Gluten Free Tiger Bloomer Carbonara Pasta Tortes in food Instagram’s future. Please double-carb responsibly.

Unlikely future endorsement of the week

The only good thing about this utter abomination is the resulting Monty Python Wikipedia deep dive which reveals that John Cleese played The Black Knight in The Holy Grail up to the point at which he had to balance on one leg, at which point a local one-legged blacksmith called Richard Burton was subbed in. Who knew?

Warning of the week

It’s after 12 August, it’s Instagram, it’s London. So: shot may contain game, too.

Iron Chef Battle: Crab showdown of the week

Would demanding all three and refusing to share be… shellfish?

Iron Chef Battle: Blackberry showdown of the week

It would be easy to pity the poor blackberry: a berry, sure, but without the gooseberry’s prized acidity or the raspberry’s scarcity or the strawberry’s status as emblem for the entire British summer. And yet one could also make the case that the blackberry is the quintessential British fruit: certainly one of the most prevalent in the wild, and therefore the entry point to foraging for any child (or, indeed, adult) with even a sliver of green space nearby. If this lowly fruit has been maligned in the past, at least now it’s getting some much-deserved love.

Eyebrow-raise of the week

Get Legay Choc Boulangerie on the phone: this might well be the first-ever case of carbyright infringement.

Dish of the week

It is perhaps no surprise that a nation of culinary pedants like the Italians should insist that many of the French dishes held up as proof of that cuisine’s culinary prowess did, in fact, originate in the Bel Paese. But who cares who came up with the croquembouche when an Italian has undeniably perfected it?

Shot of the week

*Café Deco anticipation intensifies*