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Who Is Excited for the Warburtons Gluten Free Tiger Bloomer Carbonara Pasta Torte?

Insta Stories always asks the big questions

Warburtons gluten free tiger bloomer carbonara pasta torte by influencer Anna Barnett. What happens to ads, marketing, and food Instagram during a pandemic?
Warburtons gluten free tiger bloomer carbonara pasta torte by influencer Anna Barnett
Anna Barnett/Instagram

Welcome back to Insta Stories, a column examining the London restaurant scene through the often-problematic medium of Instagram. This week’s filter is poignant.

News of the week

Anyone who has seen the recent, and borderline ubiquitous, Strongbow TV ad and noticed a) the disclaimer that it was filmed before COVID-19; and b) the polite reminder that viewers should socialise responsibly will be well aware of the difficulties of resuming “normal” marketing activity during a pandemic. But for the brands willing to take the plunge, there’s a form of opportunity here, too: a less-crowded marketplace, an opportunity to talk to an audience that has spent multiple months under a form of house arrest and which might therefore be a bit more receptive to… well, pretty much anything to that promises to break the tedium. All of which is to say — as more and more brands venture back out there — there may be plenty more Warburtons Gluten Free Tiger Bloomer Carbonara Pasta Tortes in food Instagram’s future. Please double-carb responsibly.

Unlikely future endorsement of the week

The only good thing about this utter abomination is the resulting Monty Python Wikipedia deep dive which reveals that John Cleese played The Black Knight in The Holy Grail up to the point at which he had to balance on one leg, at which point a local one-legged blacksmith called Richard Burton was subbed in. Who knew?

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You heard.

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Warning of the week

It’s after 12 August, it’s Instagram, it’s London. So: shot may contain game, too.

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Iron Chef Battle: Crab showdown of the week

Would demanding all three and refusing to share be… shellfish?

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Stir fried noodles with sambal and crab. This is a really quick and fragrant recipe using an Indonesian inspired sambal tomat as the flavour-bomb base . I used a mix of white and brown crab meat but if you can’t get hold of that don’t worry, use tinned sardines, leftover cooked fish or just serve the noods with the sambal and coconut sauce. Dried vermicelli noodles are very light, so if you’re using another nood you may need to up the grammage. Enjoy! . #OTK #ottolenghitestkitchen . Stir fried noodles with sambal and crab Serves 4 60g coconut oil 5 makrut lime leaves 110g dried rice vermicelli noodles, cooked as per packet instructions 1 small tin coconut cream (180g) 200g picked crab meat, preferably a mix of white and brown (optional, see intro) 2 tbsp chives, finely chopped 2 spring onions, julienned 2 limes, cut into wedges, to serve Flaked sea salt Sambal 4 red chillies 180g cherry tomatoes 10g fresh turmeric root, peeled 3 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 10g fresh ginger, peeled 2 small shallots, roughly chopped 2 tsp tomato paste 2½ tbsp soy sauce 2½ tbsp maple syrup 2 tsp green or black peppercorns, roughly crushed 20ml lime juice Add all the ingredients for the sambal to a blender with 1 teaspoon of flaked salt and blitz until smooth. Heat the oil in a large wok/saute pan on a high heat, then add the lime leaves and two thirds of the sambal and stir fry for 3 minutes (careful, it might spit!). Add the coconut cream and continue to stir-fry for 2 minutes. Add the cooked noodles and toss to combine, then remove from the heat. Stir in the remaining sambal, the chives and the picked crab (reserving some to finish the dish with). Transfer to a platter, garnish with the spring onion and remaining crab and serve with plenty of lime juice squeezed on top.

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Iron Chef Battle: Blackberry showdown of the week

It would be easy to pity the poor blackberry: a berry, sure, but without the gooseberry’s prized acidity or the raspberry’s scarcity or the strawberry’s status as emblem for the entire British summer. And yet one could also make the case that the blackberry is the quintessential British fruit: certainly one of the most prevalent in the wild, and therefore the entry point to foraging for any child (or, indeed, adult) with even a sliver of green space nearby. If this lowly fruit has been maligned in the past, at least now it’s getting some much-deserved love.

Eyebrow-raise of the week

Get Legay Choc Boulangerie on the phone: this might well be the first-ever case of carbyright infringement.

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Carb Olympics

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Dish of the week

It is perhaps no surprise that a nation of culinary pedants like the Italians should insist that many of the French dishes held up as proof of that cuisine’s culinary prowess did, in fact, originate in the Bel Paese. But who cares who came up with the croquembouche when an Italian has undeniably perfected it?

Shot of the week

*Café Deco anticipation intensifies*