Hellmann’s Chooses Violence and Puts Gravy Mayo on Supermarket Shelves

Hellmann’s is dropping a new range of “restaurant-inspired” mayonnaises, two of which are practically restaurant relics and one of which sounds pretty good. Joining coronation mayo, a colonial emulsion, and chilli mayo, the “your boyfriend’s burger joint” condiment of the early 2000s, is gravy mayo, which the company says is “the perfect dipping sauce for chicken and chips” and which everybody else will say is a direct theft from KFC.

The Grocer reports that “the trio will roll initially into Iceland and Morrisons in April,” before being distributed more widely to supermarkets. The range is part of a bid by Hellmann’s to arrest declining sales, which saw it lose £9 million in the year to 1 January 2022. One London mayonnaise enthusiast had a very simple reaction:

Gordon Ramsay is still trying to murder irony

Earlier this week, the shouty chef said COVID-19 had got rid of “crap restaurants” while his portfolio remains undimmed. Now, he’s planning to open Street Burger restaurants in Farringdon (replacing a Byron) and Tower Bridge (replacing By Chloe.) What was that about “shitholes in a prime position and taking advantage because they’re in a great location, and they’ve got the footfall,” Gordon?

The Ivy Asia’s huge Mayfair restaurant is going ahead, somehow

Why have any shame when you have money.

A hot new Shoreditch restaurant is playing the Italian hits on Sundays

Chris Leach and David Carter’s Manteca will introduce a “family-style” Sunday menu from 3 April onwards, 12 p.m. — 5 p.m. Look out for the bollito misto.